Tilde~A: Alexios' Homepage

BedroomLAN Privacy Policy

This sorry excuse of a privacy policy sets and protects how BedroomLAN uses and protects any information you leave here. It's a sorry excuse because there's very little information to be used or protected.

What Is Collected

The BedroomLAN site in its current icarnation has gone static. There's no database. There are no user accounts. There are no names.

That having been said, the web server collect the standard amount of information for security purposes:

  • The IP address originating the request;
  • The time and date of the request;
  • The page requested including whether or not the request was successful, the size of the response, and all that jazz;
  • The URL the browser came from (the Referrer);
  • and how long the request took.

On occasion, I like to think people actually read the pages here, so I also run a Piwik installation. Piwik is like Google Analytics, but the data is stored securely and locally. The EU Cookie Legislation classes Piwik as a ‘first-party analytics suite’ and suggests people who use it may not be guilty of crimes against humanity.

Piwik stores the same information as the web server logs, but can also identify things like your operating system, screen resolution, etc. If you're using Windows XP and IE6, you should be getting pretty embarrassed now.

Some pages also embed the Disqus comment service. If you see the comment widget, its own privacy policy applies.

Internal record keeping

I may use this information to improve the site. Usually, I ignore it utterly because I just don't care and I have better things to do.

Web server information is retained for a short time. It's often backed up for a couple of months. Given how quickly IP addresses change in this IPv4-depleted time, it's pretty difficult to e-stalk someone this way. I can tell you're a dork who looks up useless information, but that's okay: I'm the dork who published it in the first place.

Piwik data is currently kept indefinitely. If the site starts getting lots of traffic, I'll probably have to start deleting old analytics to keep the database small.


If you use the BedroomLAN search function (on the menubar), you're searching using JavaScript and a static dataset. Your search terms aren't transmitted online. No state is kept, no customisation is possible, and no cookies are set. There is no tracking. There isn't even a spoon.


Many pages embed the Disqus comment service, which is third-party. Their privacy policy applies.

If you use Adblock Plus (and you really, really should) and you disapprove of the Disqus policies, you can easily block the comment section. You can't effectively disable it from the site itself, because BedroomLAN keeps no centralised state.

How the Site Uses Cookies

BedroomLAN is static. We serve no session-identifying cookies and we keep no state. We can't keep state, because the site is static. I don't tailor user experience. What you see is the same dubious content everyone else does.

However, both Piwik and Disqus likely set cookies.

This applies for other types of state storage techniques, like HTML5 client-side storage: BedroomLAN doesn't use any. Piwik and Disqus might.

There are a number of non-identifying cookies used to improve your experience and help the site not look like an escapee from 1994. These cookies are set by JavaScript code on your browser and used by JavaScript code on your browser. The site back-end doesn't use them at all, although they are sent along with HTTP requests. These cookies are:

  • lastVisit: records the time (as seconds since the Unix Epoch) of your last visit to each index page (the pages with the square tiles). JavaScript code running on your browser adds a ‘new’ or ‘updated’ ribbon to content that's new or updated since your last visit (plus a little bit).
  • befunge: only used in the Befunge Playground application It records the last program selected and whether the tool is in program edit or run mode.
  • greekKeyboard: only used in the Greek Typing article, this cookie records user preferences for the typing widget. It records the user's selected operating system/environment and last chosen tutorial. No identifying information is stored.

Despite my clearly amazing, world-class website visited by at least three bots and two humans every month, I don't own the Internet. Unfair, right?

So if you follow links to other sites, you're on your own. You won't be in Kansas anymore. All sorts of horrors await you: broken links, cute kittens, porn, et cetera.

So don't come crying to me.

Newsletters and Spam Policy

BedroomLAN has no newsletter. I'd rather be doing less cool, more interesting things than writing about writing.

I'm a proud owner of this this t-shirt, and it describes my spam policy. I hardly have the time to answer email. Why would I bother sending it to hundreds of people?

Also, considering the site doesn't collect email addresses, selling mailing lists or sending spam would be quite the party trick.

Opting Out

You can opt out of this clearly dystopian regime by a combination of:

  • blocking cookies on;
  • enabling your browser's Do-Not-Track features;
  • using AdBlock Plus;
  • wearing a tin-foil hat.